How do we get to this place where green is no longer green and full of life but a dulling brown? It's like the slow change of seasons. We forget a little here, we stop practicing what we know there; The leaves are turning on the trees. Life happen's, sickness happen's; The leaves have dropped to the ground. It is cold now. The snow has covered up the things light revealed in brighter days; faith is required.
Faith brings to remembrance those things that were once tangible. Faith bids me to carry on. Faith tells me this life is a gift. A million times a day our creator has inclined Himself to us, to whisper endearing words of love. He is the sunrise, He is the midday steadiness, and He is the countless pin prick holes in a colorless sky. He reminds us we are not left to maneuver in utter darkness alone .
The flowers in my yard, the greenery in the dessert, the down pour when I am parched. He is there. If I find myself on the wings of the dawn, if I make my bed in the lowest places, He is there willing to lead me. He wills to lead me to see him in all these seasons of life. To see Him and to love Him more because I realize to the core of me I am not abandoned but loved by Him.
This gift of life and all the gifts that ride upon it's coat tails were meant for us, meant to show us beauty. We were meant to look into the bloom of a rose and find enjoyment. I need no miracle, no sign, God is before me. I breathe in His handiwork, His fragrance beckons from satin petals and I long for Him to be my life.
My son, a gift, very honestly tells me of his own longing. It pours fourth slowly from his own sorrows. “Mom, I want to die and go to heaven where I can hear.” He longs for his real home too. A body fit for heaven, where his ears will not be stopped up, where conversations will be crisp, and clear.
A place where the perpetual song is everlasting joy, full of grace. There will be no disconnect, no miscommunication, no impatience.
My heart aches for him. I feel helpless to fix what is broken. In an instant I have a choice to make. I always do have this choice. The choice to embrace circumstance and spiral down in believable lies or the choice to embrace the truth of God, whose loving kindness is over all His works. God was calling me to arms, to take courage, while I was afraid, so I could bestow courage on my son.
God uses my children to train my heart to be more brave than I am. For their sake, and really, for my sake too.
We momentarily linger in our dream of what heaven will be like. We sigh and smile. We have hope. We return to the present reality and recognize our weakness as an opportunity for dependance. God alone is equipped and has equipped His children to walk through the fire and not come out smelling like a victim.
It's not the dying we are afraid of. Our end is secured. The fear is to wander through this life wearing grave clothes. Joyless, unable to hear God. This is a deafness that cannot be tolerated. It is the deafness that can't hear the voice of God as a personal love song. It is the deafness that will not take responsibility for sin. It is the deafness that cannot hear the cry of the oppressed, It is the deafness that cannot hear God in the mundane, broken and pitiful moments of life. This kind of deafness is death to a soul. We have all set up camp here. Even as believer's!
Our senses, particularly our ears, eye's, and heart are instruments of Grace God has given us to receive Him. They are our modes of reception. To be deaf to our maker is to wither at the depth of our soul.
Oh Lord, For my Family,
Apply your healing touch to our ears. Let us be open to hearing your goodness and taking it to heart. Unveil our eye's that we would exchange the misshapen and bent views we have for images of your splendor. We resign ourselves to you and beg that you would teach us how to let the life you have given us, through your Son, be our life. That your joy WOULD become our strength and our joy.
Apply your earth to our eyes that we would see. Open our ears to your voice a little more each day on this journey with you. Tune our hearts to sing your praise. Unleash our tongues to proclaim liberty and life abundant here and now!
Celebrating unexpected joys in unexpected places...Places we wouldn't choose for ourselves, but where God is most brilliant. Where we hear Him and see Him in living color.
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